你知道能够结交大量朋友背后的秘密吗？_2.生活之友

你知道能够结交大量朋友背后的秘密吗？

发布时间：2013/7/7 阅读次数：3061 字体大小: 【小】【中】【大】

从新加坡某网站看到的一篇交友文章，写的不错。略带翻译一下。

Do you want to know the secret behind making a lot of friends?你知道能够结交大量朋友背后的秘密吗？

“You give them cold hard cash!”甩给他们一大堆现金！

EENK! Wrong! Well sometimes that works, but only until you run out of money, so cash isn’t the right answer. The correct answer is: Make people feel important. Do I have to say it again? Make people feel important. That’s it! You might ask, “Why? I mean, what’s the use of making them feel important? Isn’t that their problem if they don’t feel good about themselves?”错了，有时能管用，当你耗尽金钱后就没用，所以金钱不是这秘密的答案。正确答案是：让别人感受到他们自己的重要性。还要让我再说一遍吗？让别人感受到自己的重要性。就是这个！你也许会问，“为什么？我的意思是，用什么法子让他们觉得自己重要呢?他们自己感觉不好难道不是他们自己的问题吗？

Okay, let’s take time to look at why it is a need for one to feel important. Let’s start off with a question. What is that something that you need the most? Something you really must have.好吧，让我们花点时间来看看为什么让一个人感觉到自己重要是很必要的。让我们从一个问题开始吧。你最需要的是什么？什么是你真正需要的。

Yes, we need oxygen. That’s for sure. And yes, food and water is essential too. Who can live without it? Even animals and plants need food and water. What do we usually do after eating too much? Yes, whatever you’re thinking of, that is needed to. If you’re thinking of shelter, you’re right again! That’s another need. 这部分不翻

According to Abraham Maslow, a famous psychologist who postulated a Hierarchy of Needs, our basic needs, like food, oxygen, shelter and water, are referred to as physiological needs. But here’s another question for you. When all these physiological needs of yours are satisfied, what do you want most? What do you need most?这部分也不翻大家自己去理解

You want to feel important and loved, don’t you? Maslow refers to that need of feeling recognized as “esteem needs”. He says that these needs are as significant as our basic needs. You see? So it is indeed a need for one to feel important, to be respected and recognized.你想要感受到自己的重要和被爱的感觉，不是吗？MASLOW指出这种感觉被认为是“自尊的需要感”他说这些需要是我们最基本的需求。你明白了吗？所以使一个人感觉自己重要感到自己被尊重被认可的需要是一种必要。

With that, here is a great truth you ought to remember:至此，这儿有些重要的事实你应该要记住

If you want people to respond to you positively, make them feel important. The more you make them feel important, the easier you make friends!如果你想要别人对你反应积极，就让他们感受到他们自己的重要性，你越是能做到这一点，你就越容易交到朋友！

Everyone who considers themselves human wants to feel important. We all want someone to make us feel special, may it be a friend, a boss, a classmate, a spouse or even just an acquaintance.

Here’s another question, how do you make someone feel important? Read on to find ten effective tips！以下提供十个小提议！

1 – It all starts with a smile. 从微笑开始
The truest friendships can start with the simplest smiles. That is why in making people feel important, smiling is a must! Flash your friend a genuine smile occasionally. It gives off a friendly approach and shows that you mean them no harm.真正的友谊可以从简单的微笑开始，微笑是让别人感受到重要性的必要条件之一。

George Eliot once said, “Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.”

What would you choose, friends or wrinkles? I think the answer to that is obvious, so smile!

2 – Ask questions.提问题
Yes, you read that right. Ask questions! It flatters people when you ask those questions because it shows that you are interested in what they have to say. Plus! It means you’re willing to listen! (Even if sometimes, you’re not.) To invite a conversation, ask open ended questions. These are questions that need further explanation. They can’t be answered with one word.是的，没错，提问！你向他们提问会愉悦他们，因为这表示你对他们的话题感兴趣。另外！也意味着你乐意倾听！（即使有时候，你并不乐意）

For example, “How did you manage to climb up that tree without spilling the cup of coffee you were holding?” or “If you were born in San Francisco, how’d you end up in Virginia?”

The great Albert Einstein said, “The important thing is not to stop questioning.” An American author, Henry David Thoreau, wrote, “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer.”

3- Listen!倾听
I think I can hear you saying, “Oh that’s easy! I do it all the time!”我想我能听到你说，
“哦，那很容易！我总是这么做”

Do you really? When someone talks to you, are you sure you’re really listening, or are you just hearing the words? Or maybe, while the person is talking, you’re thinking of ways to respond! Come to think of it, we could just probably count the times when we actually listened. That is no good. We have to learn to really listen and see the meaning of what people say to us.真的吗？你真的认真在听吗？或者你只是在听单个的字词？或者也许，当对方在说话时，你正在思考回应的方式！好好想想，当我们实际在听的时候，我们也许只能数数时间，这样并不好。我们要学着真正的倾听并领会对方话语的含义。

4 – Look them in the eye.看着他们的眼睛
No, it’s not to scare them! You maintain eye contact with the person you’re talking to, to show him/her that you are listening. But don’t stare! Look away from time to time. If, for some reason, you can’t look them in the eye, look and focus on the bridge of their nose. It sounds quite funny, but trust me, it works! It’d be as if you were looking at their eyes.

M. Scott Peck said, “You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.”
别理解错了，不是要恐吓他们！当你和他们交谈时你的眼睛要保持和他们的眼神有交流，以表示你在认真听，但是别盯着人家看！要时不时地把眼睛往别处看。如果介于某些原因，你无法直视他们的眼睛，你也可以将目光集中在他们的鼻梁处。这听起来很搞笑，但是相信我，这很有用！这可以让他们觉得你其实是在直视他们的眼睛。
5 – Lean slightly toward the speaker.稍微倾斜于对方
This is another indication that you are listening. But take note! Lean slightly, so as not to intimidate the speaker. Body language is a non-verbal communicator that shows that you are listening.这是另外一种表示你在倾听的特征。但是请注意！稍微的倾斜一点，别给人造成威胁感。肢体语言是展示你正在倾听的一种非语言交际方式

6 – Don’t interrupt!别打断！
This may be the most difficult thing to do of all, especially if you do have something good to say about the topic. But remember what Martin Farquhar Tupper said, “Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.”

7 – Pause before you respond.在你说话之前稍微暂停一下
A pause indicates that you were listening to the person and that the conversation is of importance to you.暂停意味着你真正在听并认为这次交谈对你很重要。

8 – Mention his/her name a few times.少提他/她的名字
“I definitely have to agree with you, Mr. Awesome.”我完全同意你的看法

“You’re absolutely right, Beautiful!”你绝对正确，很精彩！

Benjamin Disraeli said, “Talk to people about themselves and they will listen for hours.”
本杰明 Disraeli说，“谈谈关于对方的事情会让他们乐意倾听几个小时”

9 – Use ‘you’ and ‘your’ often.经常使用“你”和“你们”
Successful salespeople use this tactic because it makes people feel important. It would seem that it’s all about them, and they like that. Seldom use “I, me, or mine.”少用“我和我们”

10 – Give positive reinforcement.增强积极的因素（巩固积极性）
Appreciate the things they do. Tell them what you like about them and tell them why you like it. But don’t make it too personal.欣赏他们的所作所为，告诉他们你喜欢他们什么和为什么喜欢，但别显得太私人性。

Those were the ten tips to make people feel important. Now you’re all set to make new friends! Go on and use these ten tips and I guarantee it, you’ll have a lot of friends in no time!这就是能够让别人感受到他们的重要性的十个小提议。现在你可以去结交新朋友了！去吧，用这十个小提议，我保证，你将会立刻结交到很多朋友！

上一篇：养生警惕:身体的14个疾病预警信号当心送命！下一篇：53个不传之谜，绝对秘方，看了不后悔！

本栏最新发布